Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
