hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
