I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just found puke in my bra..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
