spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
