Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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