We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
