i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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