Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
