i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
