i would punch a child for taco bell
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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