Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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