am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize