question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You need Xanax blowdarts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
