is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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