She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
