there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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