I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I could fuck to npr.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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