I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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