plz talk dirty to me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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