my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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