Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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