I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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