it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
did i just pee glitter
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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