If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
