OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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