normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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