I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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