And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wear drunk well.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
