why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
