The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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