I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
