sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize