Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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