hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
