so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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