Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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