she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
be right there i have to get my cape
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
