she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
