Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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