Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
