Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
