People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
