Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
