Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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