I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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