***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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