i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
