Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
