I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
