why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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