You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
