I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
