look no pants
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
