Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
