Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
