he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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