We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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