so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
