Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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