u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
