My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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