Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
