is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
