There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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