O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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