How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
