you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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