Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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