Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize