is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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