So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
