so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize