go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
